It Takes Two to Tango
by ChatduNoir
Summary: Pretending 'it never happened' proves more difficult than expected when a one night stand is but the first explosive link in the long chain of events that is to follow... Set somewhere between end of S3 and S4
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Cold Case or any of the characters. Only my imagination whilst writing this story...

**Enjoy!!!!!!!**

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Lilly woke to the loud beeping of her alarm. She cursed herself for having forgotten to change the time; after all, it was Saturday. Now that she was up, she could feel the mounting sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach that she had been trying to sleep off. It had been a particularly hard day at work and not wanting to spend the night alone she had agreed to come out with the guys. She remembered entering the bar, after this, the rest of the night was pretty much a blur somewhere in the back of her mind.

Lilly turned around in bed to get out when the sight that met her threatened her to be sick all over the sheets.

She had to look twice before she could assure herself that what she was seeing was really there, not trusting her vision still heavily clouded with the drink from last night. However, there was no denying it; next to her in bed was the shape of a person she knew all to well: Scotty Valens.

'Ok Lilly, don't panic. It's just the two of you- in bed. Doesn't mean anything happened.'

Lilly tried to reason with herself, however, these false reassurances could not cover for the fact that she was wearing absolutely nothing. Lilly was thankful that Scotty had not been roused by the alarm. It would give her some time to find a way out of this situation. Lilly carefully rolled out of bed, swaying slightly as she got to her feet and tested the wooden floor beneath her. She made her way silently to the door of her bedroom. Maybe, Lilly thought to herself, if he was as drunk as I was, we could just pretend that nothing happened- not that it did. She was becoming increasingly more desperate to cover up for what she knew in her heart was inevitable- her body felt it. More than kissing had happened last night.

Lilly felt her throat constrict, she ran the distance to the bathroom door and was sick.

Scotty woke up when he felt movement next to him. When he opened his eyes however, he was alone. 'Wait a minute- This isn't my bed.'

Scotty sat bolt up right, regretting it immediately when his head threatened to explode at the sudden movement. Scotty looked around the room as to find a clue to where he was. He could see his pants on the floor by the door. A black blazer that definitely did not belong to him, then a light blue shirt that he remember matched the eyes of- Oh my god!

Scotty's heart skipped a beat. Rush- he had slept with Lilly. With that realization, images of the previous night came flooding back. The gang at the bar, eventually him and Lil the only two left. One too many drinks, sharing a taxi to Lilly's. Making out in the back seat, following her to the door. Lilly's nails digging into his back, her moans of pleasure mixed with Scotty's own groan as he came hard.

A wave of embarrassment washed over Scotty. Not so much about what had transpired between the two, but how it had happened. He was pretty sure that his needs had been satisfied, but not hers. It was a moment he had fantasized about for long- but not like this. Never like this. He was pretty sure Lilly would be mortified. Scotty was glad he had gotten this chance to explore his feelings for Lilly, but he knew she'd have another take on the situation.

Scotty slowly got out of bed and picked up his discarded clothes and went in search for the bathroom, but was stopped as he collided with a blonde figure on his way out.

'Ouch.' Lilly looked up into Scotty's eyes after they had collided and immediately a red flush crept over her face. 'Um, hi, I didn't see…' Lilly faltered. She could think of nothing to say or do to ease the awkward tension that she seemed to be choking on.

'Some night huh?' Scotty wouldn't have believed it possible, this line immediately made the awkwardness worse. He regretted opening his mouth at all when he could feel himself blush.

'Yeah well…' Lilly was at a loss for anything to say.

'Listen, not like this isn't awkward enough as it is, but hey, this doesn't have to be a big deal does it? Let's consider it-'

'Forgotten.' Lilly quickly interjected, keen to make a contribution that would end the conversation.

'Yeah.' Scotty couldn't completely hide his disappointment. It was clear Lilly wanted this to go no further.

'Well, I'll just let myself out then.' Scotty pointed towards the general direction of the door. 'So we're both clear,' he continued more to maintain some shred of dignity, 'let's just pretend it never happened.'

'Consider it forgotten.' Lilly quickly brushed past Scotty into the bedroom, too embarrassed to even speak.

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**AN: Rave, rant or review! Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Let me know of any inconsistencies, anything you would like to happen, but most importantly- whether or not you enjoyed it! Til next chapter... :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Cold Case or any of its characters.

**AN:** Thank you so much for the incredible reviews!!!! I know this is an extremely short chapter, but it didn't really fit in anywhere else, but on the good side, that means I'll update to chapter 3 very soon where things will actually start to pick up. In the meantime- hope you all enjoy this!

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The rest of the weekend passed with no new happenings, still Lilly couldn't get what had happened with Scotty out of her head. Technically it was just a one night stand; however, this wasn't just some guy from the bar- it was _Scotty._ Her and Scotty had always had always had quite a charged relationship so to speak, but anything like this- she couldn't quite explain how she could have let that happen.

Tracing her dating history Lilly saw that she always fell for the bad boys. When she did, all reason flew out the window and the thrill clouded her judgement. Look where that got her- in bed with her partner. Lilly could have kicked herself, but a small part of her wished, that maybe, under different circumstances, who knew where this could have gone.

- - - - - -

Scotty spent the entire weekend pretty much sleepless and when he did; his dreams were filled with images of him and Lilly from that night. Needless to say, those had him wake up in a sweat, feeling even more restless than when he went to bed. Yes, there had always been some sort of tension between him and Lilly, tension that had taken a turn for the worse when he had slept with her sister. But still, there was always an element of something between them, just something he had never seriously considered, well- until now.

In the end he decided, in order to clear up these feelings he needed to have a talk with Lilly on Monday so he could have a chance of ever sleeping again.

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**AN: Rave, rant and review! Any feedback is always appreciated. Til next chaper... :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Cold Case or any of its characters.

**AN:** Thank you so, so, so much for all your reviews! You guys rock!!!! I just have to say I'm so excited about this story... The first few chapters are just laying the groundwork for what (I hope) will be pretty kick ass! Anywho, here's next chapter- hope you enjoy it!!!!!

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Lilly had tried to ignore the fact that she had to return to work in fear of facing Scotty. Usually the first one to arrive and the last to leave, Lilly was the latest to clock in on Monday entering work. She walked with her head down feeling like everyone would be able to tell exactly what she had been up to over the weekend. Though probably a figment of her imagination she hoped her face was not glowing. Though always able to control her emotions, her skin always betrayed how she was really feeling. This paranoia was not decreased when Stillman passed by and flashed her what she could have sworn was a knowing smile. 

Lilly picked up her pace and flopped down into her office chair seconds later. She stole a quick glance over to her partner's desk. It was empty. Lilly felt relieved he wasn't there and decided to busy herself with some files.

However, this happiness was short lived when Scotty moments later came out from the break room. He seemed to freeze when he saw her and after a brief moment ecided upon giving her an awkward sort of hand gesture of hello.

Lilly attempted a weak smile in return, not sure what the end result looked like.

'Great,' she thought. 'No awkwardness there.'

Pretending nothing had happened was easier said than done. Scotty was debating whether he should go over and say hi like he normally would, but was spared the decision when Stillman called both of them into his office.

'Lilly, Scotty- there's a case that I want you two to work together. A new lead in the case of an elderly woman found dead in her apartment. Coroner stated cause of death was cardio arrest, now there is evidence of malpractice of her doctor as several of his patients were found the same way. Anyways- go dig a little deeper into this.'

'Eh- together?' Lilly looked at Stillman as if he had just asked her to take of her clothes and dance naked around the office.

'Yes Rush, _together._ Why, is there something I should know?' He eyed her suspiciously.

'No- it's _nothing,_' Scotty jumped in emphasizing the last word.

'Yeah, nothing.' Lilly repeated not wanting to have to go into any detail about why exactly she did not want to work with Scotty.

If anything this incident proved what her relationship with Kite had shown- dating a co-worker would definitely _never_ work. At least she could move on from Scotty now and look elsewhere. Lilly was soon brought back to reality by the sound of Scotty's voice.

'Well, shall we.' Scotty stood back and allowed Lilly to walk through the door ahead of him. She brushed past him without a word and Scotty was left standing slightly hurt in the doorframe.

Scotty knew better than to question Lilly's cold shoulder once they were in the parking lot. Breaching a still very sensitive subject that technically they had agreed 'never happened' was sure to trigger a yelling match the size of World War Three. Still, Lilly's behaviour really got to him.

He eventually caught up with her as she fumbled the keys to her car.

'I guess you'll be driving then.' Scotty joked in an attempt to break the ice.

'Yeah I will, just like you will be driving your car.' Lilly coolly replied

'What? Lilly you can't be serious.' Scotty was incredulous.

'Yes I am- see you there.'

'But we're both going to the same-' But before Scotty could finish off his sentence her car door had slammed shut.

'What the hell is wrong with her today?' Scotty thought as he moodily kicked the ground as he walked towards his vehicle.

Fine, if that's the way she's gonnna act, then I'm glad this whole thing ended before it even had the chance to start.

Scotty walked the last few paces to his car and slammed the door as he got in.

- - - - - -

Lilly felt kind of guilty about her treatment of Scotty. She didn't really know why she was acting like she was. Maybe it was the fact that the small glimmer of an opportunity of any sort of romance between her and Scotty had officially been extinguished, or that he hadn't fought harder for her.

Yes, she knew that technically, the whole incident 'never happened,' but she never knew Scotty to be one to give up easily. Foolishly she guessed he would've at least called her. Talking to Kat, Scotty had been dropping hints he was interested in Lilly and after the weekend, if any time- now would be the time to do something about it. She felt so stupid.

Whatever, no use in dwelling on the past Lilly thought.

Ready to start over again, Lilly found herself being treated to the cold shoulder she had given Scotty earlier. She couldn't really blame him, she hadn't exactly been the nicest person, but after a while she grew more and more hurt by this.

'Well, I guess we got all that we came for.' Scotty said in her general direction hours later.

'I guess I'll see you tomorrow at work.'

'Yeah. I guess. Hey Sco-' But it was too late. He had already gotten into his car.

Scotty looked at Lilly's dejected figure in the rear view mirror as his car pulled away. He hated being like this with her. How on earth had years of building a friendship been ruined in one night?

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**AN: Rave, rant or review! Let me know what you think, what you want to happen, suggestions but most importantly- if you enjoyed it! Til next chapter... :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Cold Case or any of its characters.**

**AN:** Thank you guys so much for all the reviews! They are what made me update early, but also the fact that I won't be able to update this week or at least til Sunday, so I thought I'd post this chapter as the others have been so short. I hope you enjoy it- story will start to pick up now! -x-

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For the next few weeks or so, Lilly and Scotty's relationship didn't exactly improve. Though they were both civil with each other, there was obvious tension between the two that had become apparent even to their co-workers. 

It had been a long Thursday of hard work.

'Hey- we're hitting T.J's for a drink. You guys wanna come?' Vera shouted across the emptying office at Lilly and Scotty who were yet again working a lead together.

'Yeah, that'd be great.' Scotty boomed back. 'Anything to get a break from this,' he added under his breath.

Lilly lifted her eyes to look at Scotty, hurt reflected in them.

'Oh-no I didn't mean it like that.' Scotty tried to backtrack fast when he saw her pained face.

Lilly abrubtly got up to leave.

'No, Lil please I-' But he never got to finish before Lilly finally exploded.

'You know Scotty, as much as I know this whole thing with us is as much my fault as it is yours, I'm getting really sick of your comments.'

'No, Lilly please.' Scotty grabbed her arm as she moved to walk away.

She froze and looked down on his hand tight around her wrist.

'Lilly, please.' Scotty pleaded. She relaxed. 'You know I didn't mean it like that. I meant this-' he said gesturing to the desk, 'the case- not _you_.'

There was a pause in which both of them said nothing until Scotty spoke again.

'I hate how things have gotten between us.' He hesitated for a moment. 'I miss you.' Scotty looked at her sincerely. He meant it- every word.

She still said nothing.

'As a friend- I really miss you. I miss how we were.'

Lilly felt a huge weight lift inside her. She realized that more than anything, she too had missed his friendship. Scotty was the one person that would always make her feel better if something was wrong.

'Yeah, me too.' She admitted and looked up at him.

'What do you say we go meet the rest of the gang at T.J's or?' Scotty smiled at her.

'Yeah that'd be great.' She started to walk away, wanting to avoid the awkwardness that was bound to ensue.

'Lilly wait!'

'What?' She stopped and turned around puzzled.

'Come here.' Before she knew it, Scotty had enveloped her in a giant bear hug. Lilly laughed.

'Friends?' He grinned down at her.

'Friends!' Lilly flashed her signature smile in return.

- - - - - -

As they entered the smoky bar around the corner, the first thing that hit Lilly was the wall of smoke. Usually it didn't bother her all that much and she was about to excuse herself when she was forcefully pulled down into the corner booth by Kat.

'Oh no you don't Rush.'

'Fine, if I must. _One_ drink.' Lilly sighed in a mock melodramatic voice.

Scotty sat next to her and whispered quietly, 'I remember a certain someone saying that exact sentence a month ago, and look where that got her.'

Lilly blushed and punched Scotty's arm.

'Ouch,' Scotty laughed. 'I'm gonna go get us some drinks before I get bludgeoned again.'

'I'll come with you.' Vera got up.

'What can I get you Lil?'

'I'll just have-'

'White wine. Yeah I know.' Scotty finished the sentence for her.

'So you and Scotty alright again?' Lilly looked up at the sound of Kat's voice.

'What do you mean?' Lilly tried to play it off but all she got in return was a raised eyebrow from her co-worker. Lilly laughed. Over the course of the few months Kat and she had been working together the two women had grown close.

'Well, not going into the details. We're fine now. We're good.' Lilly stated conclusively.

'Well_ he_ sure is.' Lilly followed Kat's gaze to the bar where she saw Scotty looking very friendly with a gorgeous brunette.

'Well, good for him.' Lilly realized she had replied a little too slowly.

'No, really.' She added as Kat gave her yet another one of her famous looks.

'Scotty and I- are just friends. Seriously.'

'Well, if you say so.'

Lilly wasn't so sure she'd convinced Kat. Truly, she wanted Scotty to be happy. Yeah, she thought. She really was happy for him.

A second later a glass of white wine was placed in front of her accompanied by Scotty's voice.

'Hey, hope you guys don't mind, but I just kinda met someone that seems kind of interesting and I think I'll just-'

'Leave. You have our permission.' Kat interrupted him. 'Where's Vera gone to?'

'Ah yeah, he had to go. Something to sort out he said.'

Lilly couldn't help but notice Kat's face fell a little and smiled to herself.

'Guess it'll just be us to two then.' Kat said returning to Lilly, seemingly recovered from Vera's impormptu leave of absence.

Lilly didn't reply at once. She watched Scotty guide the brunette out of the bar door, a hand placed guidingly at the small of her back.

'Yeah, guess so.'

'Well then. I feel a toast is in order for us girls, don't you?'

'I feel we deserve as much.' Lilly replied holding up her glass.

'Here's to- friendship? Cheesy huh, but what the heck.'

'Yeah, that sounds about right. To friendship.' Lilly laughed and clinked her glass with Kat's but when the liquid touched her lips she didn't drink. She couldn't exactly pin point why but something just felt- off.

Come on Rush, it's not like you would get drunk and go off in a taxi with Kat. She almost had to laugh out loud at the idea, but an instinct, just something somewhere, told her a drink would not be a good idea.

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**AN: Rave, rant or REVIEW! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Most of you will probably guess what's gonna happen in the next;) or? Til the nex chapter... :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**AN:** Sorry it took me so long to update, but I wasn't able to submit documents for a day or so, but here it is. Think I might start updating this story twice a week now... just because you guys are the best.THANK YOU so much to all of those who reviewed- wow, I didn't expect you to like it this much, but please- don't stop;). This is the most important chapter to the story, so I hope I managed to get it right! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!!!

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Lilly awoke the next morning with a feeling of bile rising fast in her throat; a feeling which triggered a panic stricken chain reaction of scenarios fleeting through her mind- though this time, her mind was perfectly clear. She was not naked or lying in bed with another person and because she had not been drinking this feeling did not make sense to her. 

However, this time she didn't manage to get to the bathroom and before she could stop it she bent over the side of the bed and heaved all over her bedroom floor. She was hit by several waves of nausea and by the time she was done she felt exhausted and her eyes were shining with tears from the effort.

Great start to the day, Lilly thought as she gingerly steadied herself getting up to clean up the mess. She felt quite fine now and ran a list through her mind of what she could possibly have eaten that would have made her so sick.

- - - - - -

By the time she was done cleaning her bedroom floor she was running late so she skipped breakfast and headed straight for work. As she got out of her car and headed up the series of steps to the office, she could feel a small trickle of sweat on her forehead and practically collapsed into her chair once she reached her desk breathing heavily to catch her breath.

'Hey Lilly, you OK?' Vera managed to get out between a mouthful of donut as he passed by her desk.

'Yeah, I'm fine- just a little tired that's all.' She replied managing to send him a reassuring smile.

'You sure your wife would be happy if she knew you were having donuts for breakfast?' Jeffries asked as he walked by Vera who suddenly looked down.

'You mean ex-wife. Final divorce settlements just came through yesterday- I'm a free man now.' Vera tried to joke it off but he did not quite manage to mask the hurt in his voice.

Jeffries looked as though he had put a foot in his mouth. 'Hey man, I'm sorry.'

'No biggie, it's for the best anyways. Besides if I have the freedom to do this-' Vera took a big bite out of his donut and munched it happily.

Lilly knew how hard break up's could be and she uncharacteristically got up and gave Vera a quick hug. 'If there's anything I can do, you know, just tell me.'

Vera looked a bit taken aback. 'Thanks Lil. I will.'

'Sorry to break up the love fest, but everyone in my office now.' Stillman shouted from his office.

'Hey where's Scotty?' Vera questioned after the team had assembled.

'The last _we_ saw him he was leaving with a knockout brunette.' Kat said.

The guys all exchanged knowing glances which made Lilly and Kat roll their eyes at each other.

Just thought I'd hand out some assignments,' Stillman begun as he brought a steaming cup of coffee to his lips.

'I think I'm gonna be sick.' Lilly stormed out of the office, leaving the rest of the team standing confused in her wake.

- - - - - -

Moments later Kat entered the ladies bathroom and heard the sound of alternate heaving and crying.

'Lilly?' She tried tentatively as she knocked softly on the last stall.

All she got in reply was the sound of another bout of vomit coming from the other end. Some time later it seemed to have subsided and she heard the lock being unhinged at the other end.

She almost had to gasp as Lilly came out from the bathroom, her skin if possible even paler and her eyes red and puffy.Her maternal instinct immediately kicked in as Lilly clutched the sink with trembling hands to steady herself.

'Hey Lil, you OK.' She tentatively reached out and placed her hand on her co-workers back.

All Lilly could do was shake her head.

'I really don't know what's wrong. Must be a bug or something. I'm just so tired and I was sick this morning and then ugh- Stillman's coffee and…' She trailed off, turning on the tap to splash some cold water in her face.

A light bulb suddenly went off in Kat's head and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She was silent for a second debating how to phrase her next sentence but decided to jump ahead with it.

'Lilly, if I didn't know any better- I would say you're pregnant.'

Lilly choked on the water she was currently gargling.

'Pregnant?' Her question was more a dare-repeat-what-you-just-said than anything.

Kat knew she was skating on thin ice and decided on a more cautious approach as not to close down the subject immediately.

'No you're right, it's probably nothing. It's just that the symptoms you're showing, the fatigue, throwing up, especially at scents like coffee… I just remember similar effects from when I was pregnant with my daughter.'

After a minute of silence Lilly finally seemed to find her voice.

'Oh my god. Oh god. Oh god, Oh shit…Kat- I'm pregnant. What, what am I going to do?'

'Lilly I didn't mean to freak you out, it was just an idea. In the first place, how could it have happened?'She was silenced by Lilly's death glare.

'I mean, besides the obvious fact, does the timing make sense? It might be nothing, if you're on schedule then-'

'I-I' Lilly began to stammer, 'I thought I was just late. You know, give or take a week, no big deal. I thought that was the reason I was feeling more 'bloated' than usual I guess I…What am I going to do?' Lilly looked up at her colleague with pleading eyes shining with unshed tears.

She looked like a lost child which struck Kat because Lilly was never one to ask for help. Her maternal instincts were kicked up a notch as she gently pulled Lilly into her arms, the other woman making no resistance. She stroked Lilly's head and talked to her in a soothing voice.

'You know what? I was probably wrong. You probably are just late. Just to be on the safe side, I will go get you a pregnancy test. You stay here and leave everything to me, OK?'

Lilly nodded. Kat was almost out of the room when Lilly quietly spoke in a barely audible voice.

'Kat- thank you.'

The other woman just smiled reassuringly in return and headed out of the bathroom.

- - - - - -

Alone, Lilly tried to reason with herself. Yes, this all seemed to make sense. A trained detective it wasn't exactly rocket science to put two and two together, but that would mean that her and Scotty hadn't used any sort of protection.

How the hell could she not have thought about that fact, usually the one to overanalyze everything? She wasn't on the pill; she had had no reason to and Scotty… She tried to recall her bedroom that morning, but she had been so focused on how absolutely mortified she was that no details came into her mind. Come to think of it- she hadn't come across anything straightening up her bedroom afterwards.

How could she have been that stupid? Lilly mentally kicked herself. Alright, so this was with Scotty thank god, and not some random stranger, but getting pregnant could have been the least of her worries, who knows what she could have ended up… Lilly shuddered, unable to complete the list of worst case scenarios running through her mind.

Oh god, _Scotty_. Lilly felt her eyes well up again. Scotty was the father. Since, Ray it had been too long. Lilly put her back against the wall and sunk down. The realization made her want to throw up all over again.

How was she going to tell him? What would everyone else think? Her job, if they found out about her and Scotty and their- _thing_. Lilly felt as though the walls around her were closing in and a numbing panic spread rapidly throughout her body.

She could feel tears flowing freely down her cheeks now and she really couldn't care if someone walked in on her right now.

The door suddenly swung open and Lilly found her reason rush back and desperately tried to dab her face with her shirt sleeve.

'Don't worry, it's just me.' Kat appeared carrying a small paper bag. 'Well, here it is.'

Lilly extracted the pregnancy test from the paper bag. She was mystified at what her universe had been reduced to. Peeing on a stick would ultimately decide the outcome of her future.

'Ok, let's get this over and done with.' Lilly took Kat's outstretch hand and lifted herself off the floor.

- - - - - -

'What is taking so damn long?' Lilly was pacing around the bathroom like a caged animal.

'It's been twenty minutes now.' Kat spoke a while later.

'Already? You know what? On second thought, I don't really think I want to know.'

'Lilly,' Kat spoke gently, 'if you indeed are pregnant, which most signs indicate, not having it confirmed won't stop it from happening. Besides, it could turn out that you're not.'

'Fine. But you look. I don't think I could handle it.' Lilly anxiously folded her hands together, gripping so hard her fingers turned white.

'Well?' Lilly asked anxiously a minute later.

Kat couldn't help but let a small smile play over her lips. 'Lilly- it's positive.'

'Positive what?' Lilly wasn't exactly sure pregnant and positive were synonymous.

'Positive pregnant.'

Lilly let out a breath she didn't even know she had been holding.

'Pregnant. I'm pregnant.' Her voice had assumed an unnaturally high pitch. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

'I guess congratulations are in order.'

'Yeah, I guess so.' Lilly stood as if paralyzed.

Kat wasn't sure how to phrase the next question. 'Lilly- who?'

'What?' Lilly realized how naïve she had been not thinking that would of course be the first question anyone would ask.

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone there.' Kat apologized.

With the realization that she would have to tell Scotty, Lilly burst out in tears.

'What am I going to do? I can't be a mother. What is everyone else gonna think? I just, I can't go through this _alone_.'

Kat handed Lilly a bunch of paper towels and dabbed her cheeks with one. She let Lilly gain control of herself again before speaking.

'Lilly, it doesn't matter what everyone else will think because this is not about them, it's about you. The fact that you actually plan to go through with it says something. Second of all, you won't be alone. I know I speak for everyone when I say that we'll be there for you every step of the way.'

Lilly could only sob in response but Kat could sense something else as Lilly's features twisted into a small smile.

'I'm gonna be a mother.' Lilly subconsciously brought her hand to rest on her abdomen.

'Yes you are.' Kat smiled. 'Why don't you freshen up, get some air. I'll tell the others you weren't feeling well.'

Lilly just nodded through her tears in response.

Half and hour later Lilly left the bathroom a completely different woman than she had entered it.

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**AN: Rave, rant and REVIEW!!! Hope you all enjoyed it! Til next chapter... :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer: **See first chapter.

**AN:** THANK YOU THANK YOU so much to everyone who reviewed! I love you guys, truly.. Know i said i would update the story twice a week, but I had to do some actual writing first... Will begin after this chapter as I have most of the chapters comming roughly outlined. Hope you enjoy it!!!! -x-

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Lilly lay in bed that night listening to the sound of rain pounding heavily on her roof and windows. Her hand was rested lightly on her abdomen and she was stroking it gently it with one thumb. 

She had been crying on and off since she got home, but the effort proved too much of a drain on her already dwindling energy and it finally subsided. Lying on her sofa she felt an odd sense of ease spread over her. She felt different somehow- besides the obvious fact that she was pregnant. It wasn't just her anymore. She was responsible for another tiny being now and Lilly felt a surge of affection unlike she had ever felt before. She opened her mouth to speak to it, but somehow it felt too surreal. Lilly Rush found herself at a loss of words for the first time in her life.

Soon she had drifted off to sleep and only roused the next morning when the familiar sickness took control of her again.

On her way to work, Lilly chewed on some crackers and made sure she had a bottle of sparkling water with her in the car. Kat said that she would be able to hold it in that early in the morning. She had called later that day and offered to come over, but Lilly had said no. She just needed some time alone. She really didn't know how she would have survived without Kat there. Knowing she had her support, Lilly felt more comforted.

- - - - - -

As Lilly got out of her car and headed up the stairs to work, she felt more tired than ever. This baby wasn't even born yet and it was already kicking her ass. Lilly smiled to herself. Today she would be going to the doctor for confirmation, though in her eyes there really wasn't much point. Kat however had convinced her that she needed an ultrasound at any rate.

She heard quick steps behind her and when Scotty's voice reached her she felt a simultaneous surge of guilt and panic that she hadn't told him yet and that she knew she had to.

'Hey Rush. How's it going?'

Lilly plastered on a smile. 'Fine, great- it's going super!' Her overcompensation lead to a falsely high and cheery voice.

'You seem happy.' Scotty eyed his partner with a look of surprise.

'And that's a bad thing now Scotty.' Lilly felt trapped. 'You don't look so shabby yourself.' She was eager to shift the attention back to her partner.

'Well things have picked up lately.' Scotty tried and failed to conceal a smirk.

'And this wouldn't have anything to do with a certain brunette.' Lilly tried to keep the annoyance out of her voice which seemed to have come out of nowhere.

'Yes- Liz, Elizabeth just might.'

'Elizabeth huh? Well Scotty, I'm- happy for you.' Lilly found herself force another smile onto her face.

'Yeah, me too. I really think she could be, you know- the _one_.' Scotty's face broke into a wide grin this time.

'So soon?' Lilly was surprised.

'Well, sometimes- you just know, you know?'

'Yeah, I do,' Lilly said more to herself than Scotty. She remembered the last, the _only_ time she had fallen head over heals for a man- Patrick. She had never loved someone like that so fast, so strong. She had completely handed herself over to him, body and soul. He broke her heart. Love made people do stupid things, Lilly knew that now.

They walked in silence the remainder of the way to the office.

'Hey Lil, you feeling OK?' Scotty looked concerned.

'Yeah, I'm fine.' Lilly didn't notice she had been panting and fell exhausted into her chair. 'Just didn't sleep much is all.'

'Then Miss Rush, have I got the cure for you?' Vera barged in the office with a tray of coffee balanced precariously on top of a box of doughnuts.

'I'll take those.' At the last moment Kat walked by and grabbed a cup for Lilly and herself.

While the rest of the team were busy grabbing their cups and doughnuts, Kat dropped Lilly's cup in the trash.

'Done so soon?' Vera looked at Lilly.

'Yeah, was just what I needed.' Lilly lied.

'There's a spare one and it's all yours.'

'No,' Lilly blurted a bit too forcefully. 'Nah, it's just that I'm trying to cut down on my caffeine intake that's all.'

'One cup won't kill ya.' Lilly begged to differ but didn't have time to protest as without warning, Vera placed the cup in front of Lilly. The smell was all it took for her to lean over and be sick in the near by trash can.

When she was done the entire team was looking at her concerned and questioning. Lilly was sure her cover had been blown.

'Hey, what gives?' Vera asked her suspiciously.

'I, I think it must have been something I ate. I didn't have much food left in the house and I went to this dodgy store a few blocks away.'

'Funny, just yesterday you were sick too in Stillman's office.' Jeffries added.

Shit. Lilly didn't know what she was going to reply. Though they weren't always the most sensitive men, these guys weren't detectives for nothing.

'Must be a bug going around.' Kat interjected just then. 'My daughter is home sick right now. Hope this won't spread around the department.'

'In that case, don't mind if I just step a bit further away from you Rush.' Scotty joked.

'Yeah, getting sick is the last thing I need right now. Though come to think of it, a day or two off work wouldn't kill me.' Vera chuckled.

'Don't push it.' Stillman tried to sound serious. 'Lilly, if you aren't feeling well, take the rest of the day off. We're already understaffed as it is and I'd rather you were back on your feet tomorrow than sick and useless today.'

'No, really I'm OK.' The last thing Lilly needed was being sent home where she'd be even more lost, left alone with nothing but mounting doubts to keep her company.

Just then Kat put a steaming mug of something in front of her. Lilly looked up at her alarmed.

'Just some ginger tea- should make you feel better.'

'Thank you- so much Kat.' Lilly felt tears threatening to fall.

'Don't think about it. Hey Lil what's wrong.' Kat looked down at her concerned.

'Look at what just happened Kat. I don't know how much longer I can keep this a secret.' Lilly continued, her voice trembling.

'I'm really not ready to let them know, not when he doesn't even know yet.'

'He?'

Lilly gave her a meaningful look.

'Oh _he_.' Kat finally understood and knew better than to push for information.

'Do you want him to be part of this?'

'I, I just don't think I can talk about this right now.' Lilly knew this conversation would just lead to another bout of crying, which wasn't exactly on top of her wish list.

'I'll just leave you to it then.' Kat gave Lilly's hand a reassuring squeeze.

'Kat?'

'Yeah?' The other woman turned around.

'I hope your daughter gets better.' Lilly felt some kind of maternal power hit her out of the blue.

'She's not really sick.' Kat gave Lilly a mischievous wink.

Lilly smiled- she had suspected it.

'Hey Kat.'

'Yep.'

'Can you just get a little closer first?' Lilly looked around the bustling office. Kat neared Lilly wearing a look of confusion.

'I was just wondering,' Lilly couldn't look her colleague in the eye, 'if you could come with me to my ultrasound later. I just don't want to go alone.' Lilly spoke in a hushed voice.

Kat smiled understandingly. 'Sure, I'll be there.'

- - - - - -

Hours later, Lilly was nervously sitting in the doctor's office. She was dwindling her fingers and absentmindedly tapping her foot.

'Miss Lilly Rush.'

Lilly was startled at the sound of the nurse calling her name. She uncertainly got up as Kat gave her a reassuring smile.

Lilly took in her surroundings as she entered the white and sterile doctor's office. The walls were filled with all sorts of posters, several on pregnancy. Lilly didn't have time to study them before the doctor entered the office seconds later.

'Hi, my name is Dr. Turner.' To her surprise, a friendly looking man extended his hand. Lilly took it.

'I understand you think you're pregnant.' The doctor glanced up from his notes.

'Yes.' Lilly didn't really know what to say. It felt like she was stating the obvious.

'From all the symptoms you seem to be presenting I have little doubt that you are, so today we will be doing an ultra sound to confirm it and see how your eventual baby is doing.'

'Ok.' Lilly didn't know how to handle it. This- going to the doctor, was just making everything a little too real for her.

'Take this gown. You may change behind the screen.' The doctor indicated to a thin partition in the corner of the room.

- - - - - -

Minutes later, Lilly was awestruck watching the little pin prick on the monitor Dr. Turner confirmed to be her baby.

She was clutching Kat's hand and overcome by several emotions. She felt terrible that it was not Scotty sitting there holding her hand and that he was missing out on this. After all, it was his right as a father. She had to tell him.

A while later Lilly was clutching a small photograph of her uterus and smiled to herself. Not your typical picture, but already her favourite.

'From my calculations and ultrasound, I would say that you are six weeks along at this point.' Dr: Turner informed her.

'Six weeks?' Lilly questioned, shocked. How could she have gone six weeks and not known that she was pregnant. With the home pregnancy test there was always the margin of error. This, a doctor telling her she was pregnant, was undisputable proof.

'Six weeks.' The doctor smiled. 'Don't worry. This is by no means uncommon. It has taken other women longer to discover they are pregnant.'

Lilly felt relieved. She wasn't such a bad mother after all- not knowing she was carrying her own baby until now.

This was really happening, six whole weeks.

- - - - - -

An hour or so, Lilly felt overwhelmed as she exited Dr. Turner's office. She had been briefed on what to expect, what to eat, what not to eat, scheduled a new appointment. How on earth was she going to keep track of all this?

'Don't worry. You'll be fine.' Kat reassured her as they hugged goodbye at Lilly's apartment door as if able to read her mind.

'I hope so.' Lilly added in an undertone later.

One thing Lilly _was _certain of after all of this was that she needed to tell Scotty. The longer she waited, the harder it would get.

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**AN: Rave, rant or REVIEW! As always, I love the feedback! Up next, tensions come to a head beteween our favourite couple;) Til next chapter...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**AN:** Thank you so incredibly much to everyone who reviewed!!! You are amazing! I'd just like to apologize for not having updated, but 'real' life got in the way, but I'm back and I have time so keep a look out for updates! Again- THANK YOU to all of you and I hope you enjoy this chapter!!! -x-

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Three weeks went by with sickness, migraines and cramping. Lilly felt more and more tired. She didn't know how much longer she could hide this, though Dr. Turner had told her she could go up to twenty weeks without any noticeable physical change to strangers. 

Her mood had started becoming more unpredictable too. She felt herself lashing out at anyone in the department at the smallest things which didn't exactly help her situation with Scotty but rather seemed to burn another bridge every time they talked.

His relationship with 'Elizabeth' had continued to grow and her constant presence was wearing thin on Lilly's patience.

A moment on their own in the car on their way from an interview gave Lilly the opportunity she had needed to tell Scotty. Of all the scenarios she had run through her head, there really wasn't an easy way to tell him no matter where they were at the time. 'Hey Scotty, how are you? By the way, you are the father of the child I am currently carrying,' didn't really seem fitting in any location.

She decided to broach the subject carefully.

'So you and Elizabeth are getting serious then?'

'Yea,' Scotty smiled. 'It's so amazing, I never thought I could feel this strongly again. Not after, you know.'

'Yeah, of course- I understand.' Optimistic with where the conversation was heading, Lilly decided to push on in a jokey tone.

'So any plans for the future, you know weddings, _children_?' She emphasized the last word.

Scotty was surprised Lilly was so interested in him and Liz, but happy that they could talk again and decided he could confide the more recent development in their relationship to her.

'Actually, I'm gonna ask her to marry me.'

'What?' Lilly spluttered and painfully swallowed the rest of the herbal tea she had been drinking. 'Seriously?' She searched his face.

'Yes, what is that a problem?' Scotty suddenly became aggressive.

'No, it's just _soon_ that's all.' Scotty's revelation had been a slap in the face. The imagined future that she thought this news would bring was quickly shattered with the introduction of another woman.

Scotty hadn't meant to go off on Lilly. It was just that everyone in the apartment seemed to be judging his relationship. Was it wrong for love again after Alyssa or what?

'You know what Lilly, before you start judging _my_ relationship, why don't you take a look at your own love life huh?'

Lilly could feel tears pushing at the back of her eyes. 'Scotty, I wasn't judging anything.'

'Yeah, sure you wasn't. I've noticed your mood over the past week. You really shouldn't be the one to talk.'

'What the hell do you mean by that?' Lilly was starting to match Scotty's anger now.

'Just look at your own record that's all. Can you blame us for preferring the sister?'

The last comment sent Lilly reeling. 'Scotty stop the car.'

'What?' Scotty looked at her as if she was insane.

'Scotty stop the fucking car!' Her voice was calm, but that made the underlying anger in it even more menacing.

'What the hell are you playing at?'

'I swear to god Scotty, if you don't stop this car-'

Scotty slammed on the brakes. 'Fine.'

Lilly brought her hands to her abdomen as the seat belt suddenly tightened around her stomach. She quickly unbuckled it and tumbled out of the car in a daze, slamming the door behind her.

Scotty knew he had crossed the line with the last comment. It had just felt so good to vent his frustrations on her, but now he felt like shit.

'Look, Lilly, can we just forget about this?' Scotty pleaded. Pretending things 'never happened' seemed to be the only way him and Lilly ever got through anything without killing each other. First Chris, then that night and now this.

Lilly turned around to face him, her face burning with an anger Scotty had never seen before.

'Scotty _fuck you_!' She spat the words out with a resentment so strong Lilly scared even herself.

She saw a taxi approaching and called it over and fell into the back seat moments later. She couldn't even cry. She felt numb. Scotty's words were still ringing in her ears. Looking at her past, where she came from, Lilly wondered how on earth she could have fooled herself even for one moment into thinking she could ever be a mother.

'I'm sorry.' Lilly whispered. 'You never asked to be brought into the world like this or to have such a screwed up mother.' It was the first time Lilly had spoken to her baby.

'I just wish things could have been different.' Hot tears were running freely down Lilly's cheeks now.

The taxi driver looked at her concerned through the rear view mirror.

'Miss, where to?' He asked uncertain.

'Philadelphia Family Planning Clinic.' Lilly managed to choke out.

- - - - - -

Sitting in the waiting room an hour later she looked around at all the young girls sitting there. Some looked distraught, others relieved at what they were about to do. Lilly felt her hand drift down to her slightly swollen abdomen but she quickly removed it. She couldn't- not with what she was about to do.

Funnily enough, when she had talked to the counsellor in the mandatory session before her appointment, she had spoken of it so matter of fact, no mention of the word baby, merely 'it.' Why put a face on something you weren't going to keep?

'Lilly Rush.' The nurse suddenly called out.

Lilly felt coldness surge through her at the sound of her name: it was time. To her surprise, they had been able to fit her in that day. It was all happening so soon but it was the right thing to do, Lilly was convinced. They were all right, if she couldn't even stay in a relationship without driving them all away, there was no way she could expect to be able to raise a baby. They had all eventually left her, she couldn't bear it if her own child too would grow to resent her too- she would _not_ be her mother.

Lilly felt numb as she undressed and put on a hospital gown. All she remembered was the cold of the metal against her thighs as she was put into position on the table. Everything was starting to spin quickly and she could barely respond when the doctor asked her if she was ready.

- - - - - -

Lilly stumbled out of the clinic, and when the sunlight hit her she broke down completely. She leant on the wall for support. How could she? She had come so close. She wasn't a teenage mother- she had options.

She sank down with her back to the wall and placed both her hands on her abdomen.

'I'm so sorry. Baby, I'm so sorry. If you can ever forgive me, I promise- from now on, I'll be the best mother if you just give me another chance. I will do everything I can to make this up to you.'

* * *

**AN: Rave, rant or REVIEW! Hope you all liked it! Till next chapter… :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer:** See first chapter. . .

**AN:** **THANK YOU** so much for your reviews everyone! I'm glad you like the story. I've been getting a lot of comments telling her to tell Scotty. Because I'm cruel, don't count on her telling him anytime soon. I do apologize, but hey- what would the fun be in that;) Don't worry, they will work things out _eventually,_ just not quite yet. miss-valvedes to ease your mind, she didn't actually abort the baby. Sorry if I confused you. Tarrah, I was worried what would happen if I didn't update soon enough, so here it is;)!

Hope you all enjoy the chapter! -x-

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Lilly sat staring absentmindedly into space two days later. After 'The Incident,' she had uncharacteristically taken a day of. She had simply said she 'was still sick' and would be back as good as knew before Stillman knew it. 

She had taken the time to go buy some pregnancy books which she memorized back to front and was horrified to discover that she should never clean a cat's litter box or be that close to them in general during pregnancy. She could contract 'Toxoplasmosis' as they called it.

It had been a heart-wrenching goodbye for Lilly as she dropped them off at Kat's house later that evening. They were like family to her and had been with her through the hardest times in her life.

'I'm so sorry' Lilly sniveled as she hugged each Olivia and Tripod in turn. It broke her heart to leave them, but as she had promised- the baby first.

'I'm sorry to spring this on you,' Lilly managed to choke out, 'But I couldn't think of anyone else, and well, you're the only one I trust enough.'

Kat was touched by this inadvertent admission.

'Don't give it another thought, you've got enough on your mind. Veronica couldn't be more thrilled, she is finally getting the pets I won't allow her to have. Now that she'll have to deal with the reality of actually _caring_ for not one but two, I'm sure she'll get turned off the idea pretty quickly. That's the hope anyways.'

Lilly laughed through her tears.

'See you at work tomorrow.' Lilly felt comforted as she hugged Kat goodbye.

Though no great difference in age, Kat was taking on the role of the counselor any girl's own mother should have during this time and Lilly didn't know how she could ever begin to repay the favor.

- - - - - -

Lilly reached down and stroked her slightly swollen abdomen. Her jeans had recently refused to close and Lilly realized it was time to go shopping for some new clothes, not just for herself but also the baby. A thought that never really sent her to the moon before, she couldn't help but feel giddy at the thought of looking at all the tiny baby clothes.

'What you smiling at Rush?' Vera was passing by her desk when he noticed Lilly who seemed to be in her own little world.

'Nothing.' Lilly's smile betrayed her excitement and Vera was infected by her good mood as well.

As usual, Stillman's summon of everybody into the office snapped everyone back to reality. The team seated around the office, Stillman began handing out assignments.

'Lilly, Scotty, you will be re-opening this case. An old woman just came in with new evidence relating to the murder of her daughter in 1960.'

All eyes suddenly focused on Lilly as the detective let out a small involutary sob.

'Everything Ok?' A clearly uncomfortable and unnerved Stillman asked her.

'Yeah I'm ok, it's just that, that- it's so _sad._' Lilly cursed her mood swings which sent her on an emotional hundred-miles-an-hour-rollercoaster-ride beyond her control.

'Need a minute?' Stillman asked. None of the team had ever seen Lilly cry, more so over anything as trivial as this.

'No, it's ok, just go on.' Lilly was mortified she had let them see her cry, something usually reserved for her bedroom walls to see, but she really couldn't help it.

Another emotion suddenly replaced the one from moments before as she quickly filled with dread at the prospect of having to work with Scotty- _again._ She still hadn't forgiven him for what he had said and had yet to speak to him.

'Ok, that's all guys. Back to work.' Stillman dismissed them.

- - - - - -

Lilly walked out of the office and put on her coat. She was not going to talk to Scotty if she could help it. She was beginning to think that she could go through this alone. She could always lie about the father of the baby when the rest of the team asked. She knew she eventually had to tell Stillman as she would have to request maternity leave and she knew once the shock had worn off, that would be the first question anyone would ask.

But then when the baby was born, what if it looked like him? She knew she would eventually have to tell the truth, but _how_ was another matter, especially when there was an ice front between the two.

Lilly tried to speed up the walk to her car before she let the doubts get the best of her and as she saw Scotty approach out of the corner of her eye, she walked even faster. She was spared listening to what he was about to say when Kat and Vera caught up with them.

'Hey guys, wait up!'

Lilly felt relieved.

'How are you feeling?' Kat whispered to Lilly in an undertone as Vera and Scotty were deep in a conversation already.

'I'm fine. Damn mood swing though.' Lilly whispered back followed by soft laugh.

'I know what you mean. When I was pregnant with Veronica I'd cry whenever I saw anything remotely baby related. Once I even cried at a _diaper_ commercial.'

The two women couldn't constrain their laughter.

'What's so funny?' Vera looked at them suspiciously.

'Nothing in particular.' Kat answered in a playful tone.

The look Vera and Kat shared was not lost on Lilly and she mentally stored it to ask about later.

Unfortunately when they reached the parking lot, Vera and Kat were both headed off together, which left Lilly alone with Scotty.

'So what now?' Scotty asked uncertainly. He felt terrible at how he had lashed out at Lilly. He had just been receiving a lot of heat for his latest romance and Lilly had been the one to take it out on. His last comment had been a low blow and he was fully aware of it, but to his defence- Lilly had been more moody than ever lately. He didn't feel like knew her anymore, like she was in this bubble he couldn't penetrate.

'What?' Lilly snapped.

'Listen Lilly, I'm so sorry about the other day.'

'Sorry?' Lilly felt the anger bubble inside her when she thought about what she had almost done.

'I said, I'm _sorry_ Lilly.'

'Ever think Scotty that sometimes 'sorry' just doesn't cut it.'

Scotty was surprised at how furious she still seemed and despite his better judgment snapped angrily back at her.

'Lilly, you're not exactly innocent yourself. You haven't really been the most pleasant person lately.'

'Don't dare accuse me of not being pleasant Valens, not when you don't know the first thing about me.' Lilly was seething. How _dare_ he try turn this back on her!

'Then tell me- what is it that I should know huh, cause Lilly I think I know you pretty damn well!'

The look that momentarily flitted across Lilly's face was that of a deer caught in the headlights. Lilly knew this was her opportunity to finally come clean, but before she even had a chance to phrase a response she felt a sharp pain shoot through her body when she collided with a car that had seemingly come from out of nowhere and was thrown hard to the ground.

- - - - - -

Lilly opened her eyes moments later. She was lying in a twisted position on the ground, Scotty kneeling beside her.

'Someone call an ambulance. Quick!' He shouted desperately through his panick.

'Lilly, Lilly can you hear me!?' He desperately tried to connect with her.

Lilly could only groan in response. She looked down her body where she could see a deep gash in her side.

Lilly couldn't even register the pain she was in, she was focusing all her energy on praying the baby was not hurt. Lilly tried to speak, but the words seemed to get lodged in her throat.

'Ssshh, don't strain yourself.' Scotty reached down and brushed her cheek softly. He was scared to move her, though all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and hold her until the ambulance came. At least he would be doing something to fix what he had caused.

Lilly could hear sirens in the distance moments later, the sound seemed to come from far off as she was finding it harder and harder to stay conscious.

She closed her eyes and tried to open them when she seconds later heard running footsteps and Kat's voice. Lilly wanted to cry out to her, but couldn't.

Her side felt warm where she felt the slow trickle of blood.

'Oh my god! Lilly.' She screamed. 'Get _off_ me!'

Lilly could hear a struggle going on.

'No, Kat. Don't!' She heard Vera's voice. He was obviously trying to constrain Kat and prevent her from rushing to Lilly's side.

The sirens became louder as an ambulance pulled up next to the scene. Lilly heard the bustle of people getting out of the vehicle.

'We were just standing here and she, she got hit.' Scotty felt his voice break.

Lilly felt safer now the ambulance was here.

The paramedics crouched down next to Lilly and attempted to put her on a stretcher. Suddenly finding her voice she screamed in pain.

'Give her penicillin now!' One of the medics yelled.

'NO!' This time it was Kat's voice piercing the air.

'Why not?' The paramedic sounded annoyed.

'Because- because she's pregnant.'

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**AN: Rave, rant or REVIEW! Hope you all liked it! Till next chapter… :)**


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